Can I come back?

Actually... you know what? I think I want to come back. I want to write on this blog again. I've missed it, more than I'm willing to admit. So - for those of you who were kind enough to read my ramblings, maybe you'll want to come back . I'll do my best to update semi-regularly. This blog has helped me to figure things out along the way, to process and share. I don't want to stop doing that! I need this outlet. Otherwise, I tend to bottle things up, and I get migraines. Unpleasant. If "a blog post a day keeps the migraines away", and if I feel like I just can't stop myself from writing, then I should write! Simple as that.

Glad we cleared that up.

My last day of class is tomorrow. I'm going to go ahead and make an assumption : I think that my students are glad that the semester is over. I also think that quite a few of my students are glad that they won't have to take a language course ever again. Unfortunately,  I wasn't singlehandedly able to successfully challenge the stereotype that English is the only language one needs to know in "America". Of course, some students have learned from the experience of taking two semesters of French in college. At least two young women in my class will be studying abroad in France, and will, most likely, gain a lot from the experience. Other students might pick French up again at some point in their lives. A few will take the next class offered for their level. And I hope that some students will consider tutoring next year. But the silent majority doesn't really seem to care. Maybe they do, and I just don't know it? Nah. I was teaching an elementary French class - who am I kidding? Some kids just needed the course credit. And I guess that's okay.
Or is it?

I don't know if it's a genetic thing, or the way I was brought up (I think the latter), but I overly care about things, and it does perplex me when I see others staring blankly as if to say "why waste your breath?". There is probably a correlation between caring and teaching. Come to think about it, there is a correlation between caring and theater. Both teaching and theater are occupations which wouldn't survive without a deep commitment to the ideals that are at their core.

When it comes to teaching, the content is important. And as a French teacher this year, I realized how much I enjoyed deepening my own understanding of French grammar and structure. But my happiest moments in the classroom are when  I have successfully transmitted a concept; when students take what I give and make it their own. They created some fun tongue-twisters, wrote a few skits, sang a song in front of their peers and learned about the French election. I think those were the highlights of the semester, in terms of what I was really able to  transmit. But there are other encounters where the teaching lies much more in the simple human interaction. Students look up to teachers. I was shocked to realize that when I started taking leadership roles in the classroom. It doesn't matter if you're only a couple of years older than they are. You, as the teacher, are meant to guide and explain things. Maybe that's really what it's all about.

One student came to my office and openly avowed disliking French. This caught me by surprise - who actually tells their French prof. that they don't like French? - but in a way, I was glad that he was expressing a strong opinion. I told him that he needed to find a reason to study. What was his goal for the class? Did he want to fail and take another language course? He said no. So I ventured that his goal was perhaps simply to pass the course. In order to pass, he needed to find it within himself to study. He agreed and asked me what grammar points he should be using in his next assignment. His work has improved since. He cared enough not to take French ever again. And he learned that you don't have to like something to do it. You just have to do it. Of course, it helps a whole lot when you actually enjoy the process, but that's not a prerequisite for success. In a twisted way, I'm glad that I was able to tell him that it was okay if didn't like the subject, but it didn't dispense him from doing his best to fulfill the requirements of the course. In that interaction, the emotional response "I like", "I don't like" was challenged and the notion of discipline was introduced. I didn't make him change his mind : it's safe to say that he will never speak French again once this course is over. But at some point in the future, he will encounter a challenging topic and think "I don't like this, but maybe I can get past my dislike and accomplish my goal" or, more bluntly " Damn, this sucks, but I need to graduate".
Ah, college.

Serres, Foucault et les démons de la recherche

J'avais promis de parler de procrastination, et voilà que le mois d'avril passe à toute allure, et je n'ai rien écrit. Il faut dire - et je crois que l'excuse est légitime - que je me suis déboitée l'épaule le 10 avril. C'était un dimanche. Sur scène, avec un public devant nous, etc. Mais je n'ai pas crié, j'ai même fini une scène importante pour mon personnage (demande en mariage) et le reste de la troupe a fini la pièce sans moi. The show must go on, or something like that. Mais serieux, ça fait mal ces conneries là. Je ne le souhaite à personne, le déboitement d'épaule.
Enfin bref. Me voilà cloisonnée dans une sorte de brassard. Pas très agréable en ces journées chaudes. Nous avons tous été surpris par la chaleur, qui ne s'était pas manifestée depuis un bien, bien long moment. Et voilà que je porte un brassard thérapeutique (quel est le mot approprié pour décrire ce que je porte?) pour acceuillir le printemps. Ironie du sort.

J'ai écouté deux conférences hier soir, dos à dos, sur internet. Première partie de programme: réflexion de Michel Serres sur la notion d'invention. Deuxième conférence: Michel Foucault donnant un cours au Collège de France, en 1984. C'était sans doute dû à l'enregistrement bruyant du cours ou aux manières acceuillantes de Foucault mais... j'y étais: dans l'amphi numéro 5, surcomplet où les auditeurs étaient debout et assis par terre parce que la salle 6 n'était pas sonorisée... la voix unique de Foucault, et, bien sûr, le cheminement de sa pensée qui nous plonge dans la Grèce Antique. Et de quoi parle-t-il? De courage, bien sûr. Je n'ai pas suffisamment lu son oeuvre pour annoncer, preuves à l'appui, que je suis fan de sa philosophie, mais je crois, tout de même que je le suis. Ou du moins, je suis enthousiasmée par son approche honnête et sans chichi de la réflexion philosophique. Et, de ce que je commence à découvrir, je suis aussi impressionnée par sa capacité à analyser et réfléchir son monde - à retourner les problèmes pour les voir sous un prisme différent. Il utilise une forme d'innocence pour arriver à des conclusions savantes. Son dénuement, sa vulnérabilité face au savoir, me touchent beaucoup.
 Je n'ai pas fini la série de cours, n'ayant jusqu'ici écouté que deux podcasts. Mais Foucault a annoncé dans le deuxième enregistrement qu'il parlerait, au moins un peu, plus tard dans la série, de la paresia, le "dire-vrai", dans un contexte moderne. J'ai donc hâte d'écouter la suite. Je serais bien incapable de résumer ces cours, donc si vous êtes intéressés, ils sont disponibles en ligne.

Sur un plan purement personnel, ce qui m'inquiète, c'est que j'ai soif de recherche en ce moment. J'écoute des podcasts de conférences philosophiques, j'établis des thèses dans ma tête... bilinguisme et théâtre-actualité, fruit d'une culture qui communique l'évènement dans la langue de l'instant. C'est le dernier titre en date.
 Mais je n'aime pas la recherche, merde, ça ne mène pas à ce que je veux faire! N'est-ce pas? Mais, d'un autre côté, j'ai aussi du mal à accepter qu'on travaille tous les jours dans des domaines différents sans prendre le temps de considérer la recherche qui est consacrée à ces domaines. J'envie un peu les médecins qui doivent lire la recherche dédiée à leur profession pour continuer à pratiquer le mieux possible. Ce n'est pas tellement que je les envie, mais je ne comprends pas pourquoi on n'a pas cette habitude, ailleurs. Si on considérait la recherche de manière plus disciplinée dans le monde du théâtre, je suis convaincue qu'on ferait moins d'erreurs, et qu'on créerait un théâtre plus innovant. Je ne veux pas m'enfermer dans une tour d'argent, mais je suis convaincue des vertues de la recherche appliquée à la vie.
D'une certaine façon, mon solo pour Fresh Voices, c'était un peu de la recherche, un peu du théâtre. Peut-être qu'il faut que je regarde dans cette direction:  ne pas m'arrêter, ni de réfléchir, ni de faire du théâtre. Et on verra bien ce qui arrivera.

Teaching content

American education question:

Is teaching content to kids going out of style?

I don't know much about this, and I might be completely wrong, but I have the impression that students are being taught a lot of learning strategies and "ways of doing things", but don't always learn actual facts. Do they learn fewer facts because facts are so available everywhere now and what matters is how you find them?
I'm very tempted to go into a - say, Math, or English - classroom and see how and what kids are taught in school here, because I have no idea. Do high school students still read Shakespeare or is that over? Are computers always used to teach Math now? What does your average 7th grader know about volcanoes?
Having not been in the American school system as a student and working at the margins of the system now as a teaching artist, I have a very narrow and warped view of what kids do and learn all day. It's bugging me. If I were teaching in France, I would have a mental chronology of the overall curriculum as I know it, and how it's been evolving since I was a student. Changes in curriculum are discussed by the ministry of Education, and are often the centerpoint of debate among the teacher's union and the government.

This year, especially in one of the Touchstone programs, we're trying to integrate some material that introduces students to culture, by ways of a visual mood board and using classical music for some activities. I have no idea if any of what the material we introduce is redundant, but I have a feeling it's not.
I have a feeling the students are craving for knowledge, and we're not giving it to them.

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Below is the basics of how the education system works in the US. Good to remember. Since I am so used to the French, centralized, State heavy education framework, I need to remind myself regularly that it's not how it works here, at all.

From
The International Student's guide to the USA :

The American Education System


International students who come to the United States may wonder about their American classmates' prior education. Due to its local variations, the American education system appears confusing. In addition, the structure and procedures at American universities differ somewhat from other systems, such as the British model. This is a brief overview of the American school and university systems.

To begin, because the country has a federal system of government that has historically valued local governance, no country-level education system or curriculum exists in the United States. The federal government does not operate public schools. Each of the fifty states has its own Department of Education that sets guidelines for the schools of that state. Public schools also receive funding from the individual state, and also from local property taxes. Public colleges and universities receive funding from the state in which they are located. Each state's legislative body decides how many tax dollars will be given to public colleges and universities. Students in grades 1-12 do not pay tuition. College and university students do pay tuition, but many earn scholarships or receive loans.

Much of the control of American public schools lies in the hands of each local school district. Each school district is governed by a school board; a small committee of people elected by the local community or appointed by the local government. The school board sets general policies for the school district and insures that state guidelines are met.

Generally, school districts are divided into elementary schools, middle schools, and high schools. Elementary schools are composed of students in kindergarten and grades 1-5. Most children attend kindergarten when they are five-years-old. Children begin 1st grade at age six. Middle school is composed of students in grades 6-8 and high school contains grades 9-12.
High school students are required to take a wide variety of courses in English, mathematics, science, and social science. They may also be required to take foreign language or physical education, and they may elect to take music, art, or theatre courses. Many high schools also offer vocational training courses. A course can be one semester or two semesters in length. The academic year generally begins in mid August and ends in early June.

In the United States, education is compulsory for all students until ages sixteen to eighteen depending on the individual state. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 89% of people ages 18 to 24 were high school graduates in 2006. Most high school students graduate at the age of seventeen or eighteen-years-old. A student graduates after he or she has successfully passed all of the required courses. Grades are given to students for each course at the end of each semester. The grading scale is A (excellent), B (above average), C (average), D (below average), and F (failing). A student who fails a required course must repeat the course.

The U.S. Census Bureau reports that 58% of high school graduates enrolled in colleges or universities in 2006. Students have the option of attending a two-year community college (also known as a junior college) before applying to a four-year university. Admission to community college is easier, tuition is lower, and class sizes are often smaller than in a university. Community college students can earn an Associate's degree and transfer up to two years of course credits to a university.

Yes, ok, I do like teaching

Ok, ok, I'll finally admit it: I like teaching. Not just to make an extra buck (tutoring), but just because I like it. That's the scoop.
With Touchstone, I'm involved in education programs where we use theatre as a learning tool. We are currently working with a group of middle-school and high-school kids who have various issues - psychological problems, not able to deal with authority, depression, stuff like that. They really seem to enjoy the course so far. They're responsive, and come up with very interesting ideas, thoughts and confessions. I think we definitely lucked out with our group this year, since all the kids are surprisingly cooperative, but I also think that it has a lot to do with the program's approach. Vicki, Touchstone's education coordinator, is a very calm and tolerant person, and she's the one who structured the course.
During the first few weeks, many theatre games are introduced to encourage group solidarity, listening and responding. Little by little, elements of acting and performance are incorporated in the program, allowing the kids to finally share their own creative works in a showcase at Touchstone theatre. The aim of the program is to get those kids to work together, to help them communicate with each other in a positive way.
By doing this, I'm realizing how important it is to give people - and kids in particular - a chance to express themselves, and a space where they can be taken seriously. And sometimes, school isn't the place where that's going to happen: because there are many kids in a class, there's a curriculum to follow, etc. That's why programs offered by people from the outside, like the ones Touchstone is offering, are so important. It's a way for society at large to say that it cares about these kids beyond the institutional structure of the school. It's also a way for kids to see that they are worthy and smart even if they're not getting good grades.
I wonder how this program would translate in a French school. I'm really very curious about that. Since the French system is so much stricter, so much more regimented, the kids would probably need a time of adaptation. They would have to be assured and reassured that it's okay to express their ideas, it's okay to get up on their feet to play silly games. They would also be told that the program wouldn't be graded, they wouldn't be judged.
I think that such a program would be very beneficial in a french setting, especially for the kids who feel rejected by the school system (and there are many!). There must already be some similar initiatives in France, in banlieue schools or elsewhere, but I'm just not aware of them. Getting information about stuff like that on the internet is not so easy. A lot of actors in Paris supplement their income by doing educational stuff, and also working in prisons, but I don't know how they actually get the jobs... I wonder if there's a structure that organises those missions, or if it's disorganised, "au petit bonheur la chance"... if someone knows something about this, feel free to comment!

Teaching beats me

I'm a lousy teacher and one of the girls I tutor in English is a lousy pupil.

The trouble is that I'm supposed to teach her and her little sister "English through games". It sounds fun, but it can be quite a nightmare, because it means coming up with interesting games that make the kids use the language. But, since we're only three players, we can't play big group games like tag, or musical chairs (adapted for language use, of course). And the games must be suited to both girl's ages and interests (the young one is 7, the old one is 10). Other problem: the two girls don't have the same level. The younger one is a total beginner whereas the older one thinks she's bilingual but never actually answers me in English.

Other added problem: the older kid is a stubborn brat when she wants to, and she's allergic to effort. And she lacks curiosity. Or she's too self-conscious to express her curiosity. She's in that in-between age of 10 years old. Pre-teen or whatever. She's a sweet kid, I desperately want to believe she is, but she seeks attention only through negativity. By belittling her sister, by complaining, by refusing to cooperate. Sometimes, when she deigns show enthusiasm, everything is okay. But if you ruffle her feathers, you can say goodbye to "teaching English with games" and opt for "teaching English through tears".

My last session with those two little girls didn't go so well. At some point I stopped being all perky and patient. We were making a paper village, and my aim was to finish the village so that we could then invent a story with paper characters. While making the paper village, I was hoping the girls would learn a bit of vocabulary. How to say "house", "street", even perhaps making sentences. But as much as I want to teach them, if they don't make the effort of talking, it's not going to work. I can talk my way through hell in English (not sure why I would want to do that - is the right expression "talking your way to heaven"?), if they keep on answering in French then they won't learn Shakespeare's language or Mika's language for that matter - that's the singer they listen to these days.

The younger one was at least making the village, even though she wasn't talking that much. But the older one had clearly expressed her lack of interest and was not going to do anything while I was there. So I told the older one to make an effort, otherwise I would stop coming every wednesday. And I actually meant it, it wasn't blackmail. I'm getting paid so that these kids get a bit of English inside them, and I'm totally failing in my job. I'm actually feeling pretty bad about being paid too much for babysitting.
I explained that to her - the fact that I was tired of trying to instill knowledge in her little brain without success (I tried to be diplomatic).
She didn't scream or yell. She tried to counter my arguments b y manipulating my words, but it didn't work so well. I think she knows deep down that she doesn't make an effort. And I think she knows that I wasn't kidding this time when I said I would stop coming. And the odd thing is, I think she doesn't want me to stop coming. They enjoy their time with me, but they're not learning anything! I feel like such a fraud after a session like this one.

I better have a great lesson plan for next week in case both sisters are willing and ready to learn. If the older one is still giving me an attitude, then I'll talk to their mom and see what'll happen next. I can't help still thinking about this. Education is so important, but so bloody difficult! How do you know if you're saying the right things, if you're not scarring the kid for life? How do you know when they're pulling your leg? When they're sad and won't tell you what happened? How do you know what really scares them?

Kids are complicated little creatures. And they don't give a shit how they make us (adults) feel sometimes. That's for the best. We don't want them worrying about us. It's our job to worry about them. Not always such an easy task.