Dear readers,
"Oh The Cheek" is folding. It's been a fun ride, and I enjoyed writing on here, and reading your comments. But I felt like I needed a bit of a change, so I have started a new blog called "Art Echo" that will focus on theater and the performing arts, with interviews of artists and reflections on what it means to create art today.
Come check it out!
Anne
dimanche 22 janvier 2012
vendredi 30 décembre 2011
no wisdom
I don't know if this blog will make it through the New Year. It has run out of steam, and needs a new beginning. So do I. We'll just have to wait and see what happens.
The last day of the year should prompt me to utter some sort of bullshit wisdom. But I have nothing. Nothing but doubt and uncertainty. This year has been about growing up in a very adult kind of way. Choices and decisions came with consequences and responsibility. I am starting to view time differently - as a continuum of years rather than one year at a time. I am starting to view my life differently - as a project that can't be completely improvised. I am reluctant to give up the care-free and I want to keep the joy. But the restlessness has to go. How?
Here's to figuring it out in 2012.
Until then... happy 31rst.
The last day of the year should prompt me to utter some sort of bullshit wisdom. But I have nothing. Nothing but doubt and uncertainty. This year has been about growing up in a very adult kind of way. Choices and decisions came with consequences and responsibility. I am starting to view time differently - as a continuum of years rather than one year at a time. I am starting to view my life differently - as a project that can't be completely improvised. I am reluctant to give up the care-free and I want to keep the joy. But the restlessness has to go. How?
Here's to figuring it out in 2012.
Until then... happy 31rst.
mercredi 30 novembre 2011
Hotel
I am alone in a hotel, in Lancaster, PA. My sister has an interview for medical residency, and the hospital put her up (as they always do - it's part of the interview process). I tagged along, since Stephanie needed my car to go from Bethlehem to Lancaster.
Long story short, I don't really want to leave. This space is perfect for productivity. I used to dimly understand why some writers did their best work in hotels. Now I completely understand . No distractions, non-oppressive silence. And... hotels are some of the only places left that give you a pen and paper without having to ask for it. By the way, when I open my coffee shop/theatre (wherever and whenever that may be), there will be free pens and letter-head paper available for anyone to jot down ideas, write a personal note, etc. There will, of course, also be high-speed internet and plenty of plugs.
That's it. I gotta go. I will try to transfer some of that productive vibe to my own house. Or maybe I'll end up in a coffee shop for the day. But I will get things done. I will! I will!
Long story short, I don't really want to leave. This space is perfect for productivity. I used to dimly understand why some writers did their best work in hotels. Now I completely understand . No distractions, non-oppressive silence. And... hotels are some of the only places left that give you a pen and paper without having to ask for it. By the way, when I open my coffee shop/theatre (wherever and whenever that may be), there will be free pens and letter-head paper available for anyone to jot down ideas, write a personal note, etc. There will, of course, also be high-speed internet and plenty of plugs.
That's it. I gotta go. I will try to transfer some of that productive vibe to my own house. Or maybe I'll end up in a coffee shop for the day. But I will get things done. I will! I will!
samedi 19 novembre 2011
Growing up
I have started interviews with artists in the Lehigh Valley to create a podcast. Other than the fact that I apparently can't help blowing in my mic when breathing, the interviews have been going well. I will be posting them on a separate blog, as i think I mentioned before. This will take some time. I need to edit, and write more content before releasing the recordings.
But what I really wanted to talk about here, are the ways I have already been emotionally stirred by speaking with my first two guest artists, Lindsay Shaefer and Bill George. They took the time to share with me the hopes and struggles of creating art. That is, as it turns out, powerful stuff. Life led them in places that they never suspected - whether geographical or emotional spaces. And what transpires from both interviews is that they simply kept on going. Sometimes catching their breath, making a pause, but never stopping. A little bit like when you're dancing tango: if you put the weight on both legs, you're immobile, dead. But if you keep the weight on one leg, than transfer to the other, then back again - even if you're not moving on the dance floor, you're still dancing. You're still alive.
I am, as some of you know, still searching for the whats and hows and whys. I am not currently making theater, and as much as I'm okay with it right now, I know that it's going to come back to bite me. Making this podcast reveals what I want to do, which is to keep exploring.
Although I am still young - 25 is hardly senior - I am sensing shifts in myself, as if I were entering a new phase. This new phase is not represented by any specific event, but rather a general feeling. I am able to draw from the tiny experience I do have, which is new to me. It's a new feeling to think "this has happened before, slightly differently, so I can deal with it more fully now". It's strange to look back at my time in England and Ireland and Paris, and even my apprenticeship at Touchstone Theatre, and realize that those times are past. It's new to have the responsibility of 33 students, at least 5 years younger than I am, teaching them French. It's a new fear to think that if I stop dreaming and carrying the dream I have had since I was a kid, that dream will, in fact, die. It's a new responsibility to know that, if I choose to, I can be heard. I have fewer and fewer youthful excuses to tie me down, and more and more respectability tensions to cut through.
That, and I have a bad tendency to rationalize my decisions, to be self-deceptive. If only I could get rid of the self-deception...
Procrastination is the more obvious syndrome of my self-deception, and it prevents me from being alive in the tango sense. When I deceive myself, both legs are on the ground, and they weigh tons. I am starting to be aware of the extent of this inability to move forward. I am starting to understand the patterns I created and have been following my whole life. And I have this blurry feeling that I can do something tangible about it.
So I am trying to wake up earlier every morning, to have time to work on class stuff and on personal stuff. I don't pressure myself as much at night, and I try to go to bed earlier. These are baby steps, but steps I had never taken before. Not really, not systematically. My computer is no longer - ever- in my bedroom. I am creating boundaries, because I know myself a little more than I did before.
But what I really wanted to talk about here, are the ways I have already been emotionally stirred by speaking with my first two guest artists, Lindsay Shaefer and Bill George. They took the time to share with me the hopes and struggles of creating art. That is, as it turns out, powerful stuff. Life led them in places that they never suspected - whether geographical or emotional spaces. And what transpires from both interviews is that they simply kept on going. Sometimes catching their breath, making a pause, but never stopping. A little bit like when you're dancing tango: if you put the weight on both legs, you're immobile, dead. But if you keep the weight on one leg, than transfer to the other, then back again - even if you're not moving on the dance floor, you're still dancing. You're still alive.
I am, as some of you know, still searching for the whats and hows and whys. I am not currently making theater, and as much as I'm okay with it right now, I know that it's going to come back to bite me. Making this podcast reveals what I want to do, which is to keep exploring.
Although I am still young - 25 is hardly senior - I am sensing shifts in myself, as if I were entering a new phase. This new phase is not represented by any specific event, but rather a general feeling. I am able to draw from the tiny experience I do have, which is new to me. It's a new feeling to think "this has happened before, slightly differently, so I can deal with it more fully now". It's strange to look back at my time in England and Ireland and Paris, and even my apprenticeship at Touchstone Theatre, and realize that those times are past. It's new to have the responsibility of 33 students, at least 5 years younger than I am, teaching them French. It's a new fear to think that if I stop dreaming and carrying the dream I have had since I was a kid, that dream will, in fact, die. It's a new responsibility to know that, if I choose to, I can be heard. I have fewer and fewer youthful excuses to tie me down, and more and more respectability tensions to cut through.
That, and I have a bad tendency to rationalize my decisions, to be self-deceptive. If only I could get rid of the self-deception...
Procrastination is the more obvious syndrome of my self-deception, and it prevents me from being alive in the tango sense. When I deceive myself, both legs are on the ground, and they weigh tons. I am starting to be aware of the extent of this inability to move forward. I am starting to understand the patterns I created and have been following my whole life. And I have this blurry feeling that I can do something tangible about it.
So I am trying to wake up earlier every morning, to have time to work on class stuff and on personal stuff. I don't pressure myself as much at night, and I try to go to bed earlier. These are baby steps, but steps I had never taken before. Not really, not systematically. My computer is no longer - ever- in my bedroom. I am creating boundaries, because I know myself a little more than I did before.
jeudi 13 octobre 2011
Tangible things have been - and are being - made.
Projects are brewing here as fall has indubitably arrived in Pennsylvania.
I plan on interviewing inspiring artists in the next couple of months and make a podcast that you, yes YOU! will be able to access. I will probably store the podcasts on a different blog, but will do my best to link them back here.There have been positive developments on the podcast front this last week, so I'm hopeful that these interviews will pan out.
I am also still teaching and still enjoying it. My most recent challenge has been to figure out how to get students not to sound consonnants at the end of French words. Said students are intent on pronouncing all sorts of letters that have no business being pronounced. I also wonder how I can get these young ones to understand that the ultimate goal of my class is for them to learn French and not only get a grade. I feel for my past teachers. Oh, how I feel for them now.
And I wrote a story this week for a really cool website called Loop (I highly recommend suscribing for free to get your weekly dose of storytelling!). The story I contributed is about a boum (party) in Tunisia when I was in 8th grade. Old friends reading this story may recognize stuff... names, locations, middle school spirit, etc. It was a lot of fun to write, and reminded me of how efficient I could be when faced with a deadline.
I plan on interviewing inspiring artists in the next couple of months and make a podcast that you, yes YOU! will be able to access. I will probably store the podcasts on a different blog, but will do my best to link them back here.There have been positive developments on the podcast front this last week, so I'm hopeful that these interviews will pan out.
I am also still teaching and still enjoying it. My most recent challenge has been to figure out how to get students not to sound consonnants at the end of French words. Said students are intent on pronouncing all sorts of letters that have no business being pronounced. I also wonder how I can get these young ones to understand that the ultimate goal of my class is for them to learn French and not only get a grade. I feel for my past teachers. Oh, how I feel for them now.
And I wrote a story this week for a really cool website called Loop (I highly recommend suscribing for free to get your weekly dose of storytelling!). The story I contributed is about a boum (party) in Tunisia when I was in 8th grade. Old friends reading this story may recognize stuff... names, locations, middle school spirit, etc. It was a lot of fun to write, and reminded me of how efficient I could be when faced with a deadline.
mardi 27 septembre 2011
Rêves
J'ai envie de faire de la radio.
Et ma compagnie de théâtre s'appellera Les Vulnérabeaux.
Voilà, jusqu'à présent, deux rêves inassouvis.
Si je m'égare trop loin,
Si les rêves s'estompent,
Rappelez-les à moi,
Si ça ne vous dérange pas.
Et ma compagnie de théâtre s'appellera Les Vulnérabeaux.
Voilà, jusqu'à présent, deux rêves inassouvis.
Si je m'égare trop loin,
Si les rêves s'estompent,
Rappelez-les à moi,
Si ça ne vous dérange pas.
mardi 20 septembre 2011
Stream of consciousness
Fall is here now. The summer was long, so was the winter before that. Not much spring to speak of. I like the fall, especially here. Dramatic colors and cool days, but not too cold. I also like spring time, when it happens.
Back to school, back to work, in a routine. The routine this year is manageable and allows for free time. Free time is precious, and when it doesn't drag exhaustion behind it, free time can be productive and fun. I'm taking an acting class and I'm writing. I'm also trying to be a good French adjunct professor. I don't want anyone to fail, but I'm realizing that it's not only up to me. I want the students to own their knowledge, to take responsibility for their education. How do you teach that? In some, it seems innate. In others, it seems missing. I speak more French now, due to my job. That is a major plus for me. But the downside is that anytime someone keeps the door open on campus, my first reaction is to say "merci".
I live in a new house and I want my room to be decorated. Does that mean I'm growing up? I want a desk, or something of the sort. Am I materialistic? I'm also planning my meals, and cooking large batches of pasta on Sundays. What's wrong with me? Oh, and not to mention the fact that I have, and use, a car.
This country does odd things to people who live in it for a while.
Back to school, back to work, in a routine. The routine this year is manageable and allows for free time. Free time is precious, and when it doesn't drag exhaustion behind it, free time can be productive and fun. I'm taking an acting class and I'm writing. I'm also trying to be a good French adjunct professor. I don't want anyone to fail, but I'm realizing that it's not only up to me. I want the students to own their knowledge, to take responsibility for their education. How do you teach that? In some, it seems innate. In others, it seems missing. I speak more French now, due to my job. That is a major plus for me. But the downside is that anytime someone keeps the door open on campus, my first reaction is to say "merci".
I live in a new house and I want my room to be decorated. Does that mean I'm growing up? I want a desk, or something of the sort. Am I materialistic? I'm also planning my meals, and cooking large batches of pasta on Sundays. What's wrong with me? Oh, and not to mention the fact that I have, and use, a car.
This country does odd things to people who live in it for a while.
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